


...Out Of Ashes

by MelancholySeraph



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 21 year age gap, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety, Cuddly Dean Winchester, Depression, First Meetings, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Gen, Internet Friends, Little Dean Winchester - Freeform, Loving Castiel, Loving Dean Winchester, Platonic Kissing, Platonic Soulmates, Sweet, no supernatural, off screen abuse, self-deprecating thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-13 08:07:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16013816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelancholySeraph/pseuds/MelancholySeraph
Summary: Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak are soulmates who found each other in a most unusual way. Cas has become Dean's guardian angel, simply by being there when he's needed the most, and Cas says Dean brings him laughter and enjoyment back into his life.From a thousand miles away, Castiel wants to grip Dean tight and raise him from the dark chasm of pain he was tossed into from a young age. But to do so, Dean will have to decide if the being saved is worth taking the chance of a lifetime.





	...Out Of Ashes

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Let Beauty Come...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16006556) by [Iridescence (Sorshana)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sorshana/pseuds/Iridescence). 



> This is a sister fic. It's Part 2 of my S.O's fic. Hers is Cas POV. This is Dean's POV of the same events and digs into his side of things. READ CAS' FIRST. I'm not entirely sure mine will make sense if you don't lol. You'll have more to build from hers, background-wise. Annnyways, I hope you guys like it, and let's be honest, this is mostly self-indulgent, but maybe you'll like it anyway.

Dean Winchester wakes up gasping and clenching at the blankets on top of his sweaty body. He takes a shuddering breath and immediately began reaching for his phone on the nightstand. He needs Cas right now, assuming he's awake. He'd met Castiel Novak about four weeks ago and Dean had never known a friendship to develop so fast. They'd instantly clicked over their writing, and they've been talking nonstop since. He unlocks his phone with shaking fingers, trying to ignore the tears on his face as he open messenger and hopes to see that Cas is active. He's freaking out right now and Cas is always there for him. He types out the message and hits send before he can think otherwise about it.

_Cas... you got your ears on? I need you._

Dean rubs his thumb across his mouth as he waits to see if Cas will reply, he knows he's probably busy. He's a patrol cop so he has a lot going on usually. When he sees the typing bubbles pop up on the screen he breathes a sigh of relief and settles into his pillows to wait for Cas's reply.

_I'm here. I told you I'll always come when you call._

It's 6 o'clock in the morning and Cas is here for him. Dean smiles in the darkness and begins to type. He's never been more thankful for a friendship. He and Cassy just click. Dean has no idea why, but it's the best thing to ever happen to him and even after such a short time, he knows he'd be devastated if Cas left. Dean doesn't even want to think about that. He's never been so open with anyone as he is with Cas, and Cas has never judged him for anything. Not his past, not his childish behaviors or his rather dismal coping behaviors. He knows his anxiety is bad, but Cas never seems annoyed with him for being scared or anything. Cas only seems to get upset with him when he says something self-deprecating. He's eternally thankful for that. Nobody's ever been so kind to him before. Cas makes him want to be better, to handle his anxiety and depression better, but not because Cas is telling him he's not enough. No, it's the exact opposite. Cassy tells him it's okay to be sad and it's okay to be scared and that Cas will be there for him when Dean needs it.

 **Dean:** _I’m sorry, I know you’re probably busy but I had another nightmare and just needed to talk to you._

Dean knows Cas doesn't like him apologizing but he can't help it. He feels bad for bothering Cas in the middle of the night, well, the early morning. It makes him need to apologize so he does. He tries to use it sparingly since he knows Cas dislikes it but he knows he fails at that a lot.

 **Cas:** _Just breathe, Dean. It’s over and I’m here. Was it the same one?_

Dean takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a moment, basking in the relief that Cas is here. That Cas cares. Nothing feels better than that cool sense of belonging and love. Nothing. Cas always has that effect on him. He's the only person in Dean's life that treats him like he's worth anything. His little brother Sammy can be nice, and Dean knows that Sam loves him, but at fourteen he has his own concerns and those teenage hormones are raging. Sam really only thinks about himself, which is fine. Dean gets it.  
  
Doesn't mean he likes it, though. Dean's pretty much an orphan, his dad is still alive somewhere, but he's an abusive alcoholic and Dean doesn't want anything to do with him, and his mom died so his and Sam's current guardian is their Aunt Jody. Jody is a good person, she is, she just has some issues. She gets angry really easy and Dean hates it. He knows she doesn't really mean anything by it but it honestly just makes him want to hide. He hates yelling and fighting and any kind of conflict. He spends most of his time in his room anymore, just so he doesn't have to deal with it. Her ex isn't any better. He's kind of a stalker and gets a malicious sense of joy out of tormenting people. Dean and Sammy, specifically. Sam actually wants to move into their grandpa's house, and leave Dean here. He's older than Sam, he could leave, but he honestly just has no drive to do it. He'd be alone, without money or a place to start. He doesn't even have a damn diploma yet thanks to the homeschooling mix-up. He's eighteen now, he could go get his G.E.D. but that costs money Dean doesn't have.

 **Dean:** _No, I mean, I’m not sure. I don’t really remember it much. I was trapped on this spiderweb but it wasn’t really a web. More like that metal kind of fencing that crosses over itself?_

Dean shudders at the memory and tries to focus on Cas's words.

 **Cas:** _A chain link fence?_

 **Dean:** _Yeah, but like it was stretched out across this pit of fire and I couldn’t move. My mouth was screaming but there was no sound coming out. Somehow, I knew it was Jody that put me there._

He knows Cassy won't like the description, but he's the only one that Dean can tell. He hates his nightmares, and he knows Cas doesn't like them either but he never makes him feel bad for telling him about them. It helps to talk about it. Usually.

 **Cas:** _You’re alright now. No fire, no fence. Just your squishy hamburger pillow and me. :)_

Dean smiles and grabs his pillow designed to look like a cheeseburger, tucking it under his chin. Cas already knows him so well. It brings him comfort when he needs it. Sam actually bought it for him sometime last year and Dean's slept with it ever since. He likes the cushy feel of it on his skin.

 **Dean:** _I know. I’m sorry I bothered you but I’m really glad you were here Cassy. You always make me feel safer._

 **Cas:** _I’m glad I was here too, little one. Will you be okay for a few minutes? I need to patrol a few miles._

Dean smiles at the title. After telling Cas about his "little" tendencies, which he had been terrified to do, he'd started calling Dean that. It made him feel loved and safe, and he knew Cas accepted him for who he was. It was literally one of the best things ever. He smiles at the message, wiping his face of errant tears and snuggles into his pillow.

 **Dean:** _I think I’m ok now. Sammy's about to leave for school so I might try to sleep some more. Love you, Cassy._

 **Cas:** _I love you too, Dean. Only happy dreams now, ok?_

Dean couldn't promise that, but the warm feelings left over from Cas's conversation made him think he wouldn't have any more bad dreams tonight. He considers sending a heart emoji but doesn't. He just sets his phone back on the nightstand and curls up under his blankets. Dean had never really believed in soul mates, but he's pretty positive that's the category that he and Cas fall into. Not romantic soulmates, but maybe there's such a thing as platonic soulmates? Cas has never forced him to try to label it - he doesn't know how to either - but Dean feels secure in their bond. He knows it's something special, even if he can't put a name to it. Whatever it is they have, time isn't a barrier for it. Dean's never been more comfortable telling someone that he loves them, and knowing the feeling's returned. He really does believe that Cas loves him, even if he sometimes can't really see why. But that's okay. He falls asleep thinking about Cas, as he always does after their conversations.

**************

When Dean wakes up he rolls out of bed and goes to the bathroom, feet not making a sound on the tiled floor so he doesn't disturb anyone. He pees, washes his hands, then returns to his room and flops back down on his bed. He grabs his phone and pulls his blankets up to his shoulders and opens messenger. Cas should be asleep right now, he works the night shift after all, but he's probably not. Cas hardly ever sleeps, which makes no sense to Dean whatsoever. He would die without sleep, literally. He types out his morning message and begins to check notifications as he waits to see if there's a reply. If there's not he might go back to sleep, he's still sleepy and his eyes don't really feel like they want to stay open.

 **Dean:** _Morning. I hope you’re sleeping but I wanted to say thank you for being there and I miss you and I love you, Cassy._

He knows it's clingy but Cas doesn't ever really seem to mind. He's always encouraging Dean to just be who he is, so he tries not to censor himself when he talks to Cas. His phone dings and he clicks on the little bubble that holds Cas's profile picture on his screen and the messages pop up.

 **Cas:** _I’m awake, good morning. Any more bad dreams?_  
  
**Dean:** _Nah. I cuddled my hamburger and pretended you were here._

He really did. He swears sometimes he misses Cas so badly it's like a part of himself is gone, which is ridiculous as he's never met him in person, but mostly nothing about Dean makes sense anyway, so he just accepts it.

 **Cas:** _< 3 You’re so cute, and I’m only a text away. Guess what I got?_  
  
**Dean:** _Coffee?_  
  
**Cas:** _That too, but I was going to say cookies._  
  
**Dean:** _Hmm, what kind?_  
  
**Cas:** _What a silly question. Chocolate chip of course, and they’re the soft bakery kind._  
  
**Dean:** _Oooooh gimme. *grabby hands*_

He knows Cas loves the imagery of Dean doing that, and he uses it when he feels cute. He likes that it makes Cas laugh. A photo of a row of scrumptious chocolate chip cookies pops up on his screen and Dean draws his eyebrows together, already pouting as he types.

 **Dean:** _You’re mean. I want cookies._  
  
**Cas:** _I’ll make you a deal. If you come get them, I’ll give you all the cookies you want._  
  
**Dean:** _And how am I supposed to get there? Walk?_  
  
**Cas:** _Bus. Maybe a plane?_  
  
**Dean:** _NO. No planes. I hate heights._

Dean shudders at the thought. No flying tin cans of death for Dean Winchester, no flippin' thank you. He'd walk first.

 **Cas:** _Haha ok, ok. Bus then._  
  
**Dean:** _Sure I’ll just show up at the Greyhound station and buy a ticket with my good looks._  
  
**Cas:** _You’re not that good looking so that’s just silly. I’d have a ticket waiting for you of course._  
  
**Dean:** _Rude! You would not._  
  
**Cas:** _I’m serious, Dean. I want you safe and I want you happy and I want you here with me. You said Sam is going to live with your grandfather and you aren’t. I’m afraid for you being there alone with them. Would you like to come live with me?_

Dean's heart stops. _What?_ Cas can't be serious. He can't. That doesn't make any sense at all. What? Dean blinks at his phone. There's no way to misinterpret that right? And he knows Cas wouldn't joke about it, he knows that, but that doesn't make any sense. They've never even _met_ in person. Proximity in miles doesn't change love, but Dean honestly has no idea how to react that. He can't think right now.

 **Dean:** _Cassy I’m… what even? We were talking about cookies and you want me to move in?_

Dean takes a shuddering, deep breath, trying to calm down. What is even going on? Move in with Cas? He can't be serious. This is insane.

 **Cas:** _Can we do a video call? You don’t have to talk, I know you’re shy, but I need you to listen and understand why it’s important._

Before Dean has a chance to reply his phone starts ringing with a call through messenger and he bites his lip. If he doesn't answer he'd just feel like shit but he's scared of what Cas will say. He tucks his face into his cheeseburger as he clicks the green button to answer, looking up at the screen in trepidation. What is Cas going to say? The video comes in and he can see Cas now, all dark hair and stubble and laugh lines and Dean tries not to feel so nervous. It's just Cas.

Cassy smiles at him and says, "Hello, Dean."

Dean doesn't reply verbally, thankfully Cas doesn't always expect him to. He just gives a little noise of acknowledgment and looks down, rubbing his face against the soft fabric. He doesn't feel very big right now. He just wants to hide and be hugged but he's alone, so he has to listen to Cas.

“Close your eyes for me, Dean, and listen to my voice. This is my life and I want to share the happiness in it with you,” Cas says.  
  
Dean's nervous about closing his eyes, usually when somebody asks him to do that he gets hit in the face with something, or somebody plays a prank on him, but this is Cas, and it's a phone call, so it's safe. Cas's deep voice starts painting pictures in Dean's mind of sun-dappled living rooms and beige carpeting and soft beds and he can't help but smile sometimes at the way Cas talks. If nothing else, it's calming for him, just letting himself let go and focus on what Cas is saying and not have to worry about anything else. The place Cas is describing seems peaceful. Quiet, and calm. He likes the idea of a place like that, but that's not somewhere Dean belongs. He poisons things. He also doesn't know why Cas is doing this. As Cas goes on, Dean begins to get it. He's showing Dean a piece of his life, as best he can. A piece he wants Dean to be a part of. Dean can't even imagine living somewhere and not being anxious or scared. It literally doesn't compute for him at all. When Cas finishes Dean tries to make his mind form words but it doesn't really want to. He whimpers on accident and mentally curses himself. He needs to talk to Cas, not just hide. The place Cas described is like a place from one of their fluff fics.

“Why, Cassy? We write stuff like this but it doesn’t happen in real life. Not to me.”

It really doesn't. This is something out of a Hallmark movie, this isn't real life. Stuff like this doesn't just happen, especially not to Dean. And Jesus, what if he did show up and meet Cas? What then? Dean's annoying. He gets on people's nerves, and he knows he already irritates him sometimes, and they've fought once. That was so horrible, Dean shivers just thinking about that night. That had been fucking _awful,_ and he never  _ever_ wants a repeat of that experience again. He's careful not to say anything stupid, or at least he tries to. What if he left and it turns out Cas doesn't want him anymore? Where would Dean be then? Broken is the only word that comes to mind.  
  
_No._ That's too big of a risk. His hands begin to shake as he thinks about. He tells Cas all the time that he's not a delicate little flower, but apparently, he doesn't handle anything well enough for that to be believed, because he doesn't think he can handle this. There are so many things that could go wrong just with Cas, not even to mention his family. Jody'd be pissed, Sam might be upset, Dean's not really sure, but Dean doesn't even want to think about all the fighting that would cause.

Cas's soft voice interrupts his thoughts, “It does now. I’m sure it’s scary to think about leaving what you know, but too much of that is only hurting you, baby. You’re strong and you survive it day after day, but the human body can only take so much weight before it’s crippled, mentally and physically. Let me help you carry some, Dean.”

Dean feels like crying. All of his emotions are always so close to the surface, threatening to spill over and this isn't helping any. He doesn't want to break down in front of Cas on a camera. He's had to deal with enough of Dean's freakouts.

“I’m afraid, Cassy. What if you don’t like me when I get there, or I do something to make you mad? I can be pretty annoying sometimes."

He wants to add more, but Cas just laughs and says, “So can my dog but I keep him around anyway." Dean wants to argue that that's different. It's really not the same, but Cas goes on. “We’ve talked about this before, remember? We’re so connected to each other, there’s no way that would happen. I refuse to believe that someone up there would bring us together like this only to keep us at arm’s length when we so obviously need each other.”

Dean still has no idea how Cas needs him. Dean literally doesn't do anything but talk to Cas, that's it. He's always the one breaking down, or having problems, and Cas is there for him. He swears up and down that Dean helps him, but he honestly has no idea how. It's not like he's a ray of friggin' sunshine or something. He's more like a storm cloud if anything. He tries to think as he looks at Cas, peeking out over his pillow. Cas doesn't think anything that could happen would be enough to break them but Dean disagrees. It's not a lack of faith in their relationship, just a deep knowledge of his own faults. He's seen relationships crumble because he wasn't good enough, or didn't hold his own weight. He annoys people and pisses them off, usually without trying, and people leave. That's the gist of it. His own little brother wants to leave him, and Dean's raised Sammy ever since Dean was eight. If he's not that important to Sam, then there's no way something like that would work out. The fucked up part is though, is that Dean wants to try it. And that's so, so stupid. It never works out. Ever. He always fucks everything up. He couldn't bear to lose Cas, he just can't. It's too big of a risk. But the life he's talking about it something that draws Dean in and he knows he wants it. He wants to give it a chance but he's too scared to. He's a coward.

“Cassy, can I…" _No, don't ask. Take a little control. You have to be serious about this, it's just Cas,_ "I need to think about it a while. I want to, I want it so much but it’s dangerous for me to want things as much as I want this. It seems like something always happens to change the good in my life.”

The words don't come easily to him. He's never been good at speaking aloud, and trying to verbalize his thoughts to Cas is hard, but he manages. He really wishes he could just type it, but that's a little more cowardice than he can handle today.

“That’s not going to happen, Dean. Go ahead and take the time you need but I’m not going to change my mind. I want you to be here with me so I can cuddle you when you need it and you can make me laugh when I need it,” Cas replies, “I need you as much as you need me, little one.”

**************

The next six days go by just like normal. They tease each other, and laugh and joke like they normally do. Dean reads Castiel's updates on his stories and gives him feedback. Cas writes a lot more diligently than Dean does, but it doesn't make him feel bad. He's kind of in awe of Cas's ability to that but, unlike Cas, he likes sleep more than coffee, so that makes up for it. Dean jokingly suggests a ship name for them: **Destiel.** Cas seemed to fall in love with it, and it had made Dean smile. Dean's pretty sure Cas doesn't even realize he does it, but he throws in random comments about when Dean will be there with him, or what it'll be like when they're living together. It doesn't bother him. Quite the opposite actually, Dean finds relief in it. It means Cas hasn't changed his mind. He still wants Dean.

Logically he knows that nothing would change between them if he said no, but that's the crux of it. He really doesn't want to say no. He really doesn't. He's just scared. He knows his family won't approve and he doesn't want to deal with their anger or their fighting about it. All the details swamp him and his mind runs countless circles around things that could go wrong if he does say yes. What if he gets up there and he and Cas aren't compatible?  
  
Cas is talking about them sharing the same living space, having rooms next to each other and being around each other all the time. Dean's terrified he's going to piss Cas off and things are going to go to shit. He knows Cas isn't like that, but the thought lingers and he can't help it. What if he says yes and makes it up there and Cas doesn't like him. He's different online than he is in person. Not to say that he's been lying to Cas, he's actually never lied to him a single time, but he's more comfortable online. He can actually talk about feelings and share things when he's typing. But face-to-face he's a stuttering mess. And he knows it's annoying.

He has no idea if Cas expects him to be just as open as he is online, or what. He knows Cas understands that he has separate issues, as well as his anxiety and depression, but he's just scared. He doesn't want to lose Cassy. And it's not only Cas's reaction to him that worries Dean. What about the people in Cas's life? People are sure to talk. Cas would be taking in a stranger, letting him move in with him, and with the 21 year age difference that's bound to look weird. He doesn't want Cas to go through any shit just because of him, and Dean certainly doesn't want to hear any negativity. He has enough of that already.

But the thought of turning Cas down, of not taking that chance, it sends a spiraling ache through his chest. It _hurts._ He has a chance of happiness with Cas. He could stand on his own two feet in a safe environment, learn how to manage himself, he knows that. But he's scared of the process in between. If he could apparate like in Harry Potter, and teleport there, it'd be so much easier. He could just disappear and not have to worry about what his family was going to do to him when they found out, or have to worry about riding a Greyhound on his own for over a thousand miles and God knows how many hours. He could just cut the strings and not have to worry about them tearing his heart and his resolve apart in the process. That's the part he's really scared of. He doesn't want to leave his family hanging or disappoint anyone, but he's so tired of being a doormat. Dean just wants to be free, and have the ability to seek his own happiness instead of refuge from his own darkness. Cas is offering him that. It's an opportunity. A week after Cas makes the offer Dean makes his decision.

He takes a wild notion and just presses the video chat button to call him. He knows Cas is active, he just hopes he's not super busy. Dean's sitting up on his bed, pillow on hand, or rather, in lap, and he's smiling as he waits for Cas to answer. He hopes this goes as well as he expects it to. Cas answers and his face pops up on the screen, looking slightly worried. Dean doesn't usually call without texting first. His face brightens into a smile when Dean waves at him.  
  
"Well, hello smiley," Cas says, waving back at him and Dean suppresses his grin behind his pillow. His heart is fluttering and his palms feel sweaty but he knows it's going to be okay. Cas will make it okay.

"Cassy," Dean breathes. "Yes," He blurts out before his face combusts with the effort of trying not to smile. He ducks behind the pillow, still keeping his eyes on Cas, who looks confused.

"Yes? To what?"

Dean knows it will click, he mentally counts down as he waits for the aha moment. Three... Two... One. Cas's face lights up and he bounces on the couch in surprise, Dean's guessing. "Yes, _REALLY??"_

Dean can't help the giggle that escapes his mouth at Cas's reaction. It's everything he'd hoped for, and he's so happy to know that Cas is happy about it.

  
**************

It's about a month and a half later before everything's FINALLY worked out, but then Dean's on the Greyhound and on his way to Cas. He's anxious as hell. This is a new situation and he's by himself and he doesn't know what he's supposed to do, not to mention the fact that he's going to meet Cas soon. The thought releases elephants in his stomach rather than butterflies but he thinks they might be happy elephants. Maybe some nervous ones, but he's Dean after all, so that much is expected. He spends the ride staring out the window in between stops and trying not to stare at strangers. His nails are bitten down to stubs by the time the bus pulls into the depot, but excitement is fluttering in his belly. Some fear too; he's anxious, but as long as Cassy is here it'll be okay. He can't believe he's really here. It seems like a dream.  
  
A _really long,_ angst-ridden dream. Dean waits for everyone else to shuffle off the bus before he does, carrying his black duffel bag with him. He swings it onto his shoulder before he disembarks, looking around instantly for a familiar face. He doesn't see Cas but that doesn't mean he's not here. He tries to ignore the flutter of anxiety in his stomach as he watches someone pull their bags from under the bus, that way he knows what to do too.

He hates being in situations where he doesn't know what to do. Ugh. He gets his two suitcases with minimal trouble and rolls them to the side before looking up again, desperately hoping to see Cas somewhere. He hears the sound of someone running behind him and he turns and recognizes Cas running towards him. He drops his duffel bag and opens his arms as Cas slams into him and presses him back against the pillar.  
  
Dean buries his face in Cas's neck and clings to him, hugging him just as tightly as Cas is hugging Dean. Tears rise and he can't help but let them fall. He's finally here. He's finally safe and loved, and _Cas_ is here and they're hugging, and Dean's sure this has to be a fever-dream. Relief floods through him and Dean crumples into Cas's arms, still hardly believing this is real. Cas holds him close, encasing Dean in their own little world and he forgets where he is, just taking comfort in Cas and the security he provides. Cassy rubs a hand up his back and kisses Dean's forehead lightly.  
  
"It's alright, little one. You're safe now. You're here with me and you're safe. I love you, Dean."

They continue to stand there for a while, Dean has no idea how long. By the time they release each other the platform is empty though, so it was probably a while. Cas leans back and he cups Dean's face with his hands, "Let's go home Dean," He says softly. A flutter of emotions plays through his heart at the words. _Home?_

He sniffs and wipes his tear-stained face on his shirt, trying not to look as embarrassed as he feels. He picks up his duffel and his brown suitcase while Cas grabs the other one and begins to lead him to his car. They put his bags in the trunk and Dean climbs in the passenger seat while Cas settles in the driver's seat. It strikes him then just how real this is. He's here and Cas is next to him and this is all real. After Cas pulls out into traffic Dean shyly reaches out across the space and takes his hand. He needs something, something physical so his anxiety will calm down. Cassy seems to understand and he smiles over at Dean as he squeezes his hand reassuringly.

"Excited?" Cas asks.  
  
Dean nods, saying, "And scared and nervous and a whole lot of I don't know. Everything inside of me is on overdrive and I just can't think of any one thing right now."  
  
It occurs to him then that what he just said was the first sentence he'd said to Cas since they've been face to face and for a split second he wishes it would've been something more important. But it's gone just as quickly as it appears. It doesn't matter. He and Cas have a habit of making the most mundane things into something meaningful and profound, so it really doesn't matter. Cas squeezes his hand again and says, "I'm proud of you, little one. Getting on that bus was the hardest part and I'm going to do everything I can to make it easier for you now."

Dean shivers slightly at the words, looking down at his lap. He's nervous. There's a fluttery feeling in his chest that's telling him he's happy that Cas is proud of him, but there's still part of him that's saying that getting on a bus by yourself shouldn't be something that somebody could be proud of. He tries not to care, but it's hard. His words come out as a strained whisper, "I know and I love you, Cassy. I'm just still afraid you won't like me after a while," he admits. He is scared of that still, but seeing Cas really is the person he was online has done a lot to ease his worries on that. Now it's just himself that he has to worry about. Cas doesn't say anything to that but he doesn't look mad at Dean's confession. He looks out the windshield as they drive, trying to take in the surroundings. They look so much different than what he's used to. Cas unexpectedly pulls into a parking lot, and Dean's guessing this where he lives. It's an apartment complex, and Cas parks the car in a spot that has a sign that says 'reserved for #106'. He shuts off the car, the keys jingling in his hand, and turns to face Dean.

"You have no reason to believe me yet, but I'm telling you now, that will never happen." Dean connects it to the last thing he said after a moment of confusion and then Cas says, "Let's get your stuff."

They pull his stuff from the trunk and it gets shut, then Cas is leading him to a side door on the building. He unlocks it and then steps back, letting Dean go in first. He doesn't know what to expect so he enters slowly, looking around. They're in a laundry room. Cas moves around him and leads him through the room and out a door, then they take a right down the hallway and stop at the second door on the left. Dean feels like he's on a rollercoaster and it's about to slow to a stop. Everything seems to be leading up to this moment. Cas unlocks the door and steps inside first, holding the door with a small smile as Dean steps inside somewhat awkwardly. Dean hears the lock click behind him after he clears the door and he looks around. It pretty much looks exactly the way Cas described it to him before. They step into the living room and Cas turns on the lights, setting down the suitcase he's been carrying and Dean assumes that it's okay for him to do the same so he slowly lowers it to the floor. He can't believe he's here.

This is Cas's home. This is actually real, he made the leap and he got here. Emotions well inside of him and he has a hard time trying to keep his lips from trembling. Cas turns to him and gives him a soft look. His hands come up and his thumbs he wipes away the tears that have slid down his cheeks and moves forward to plant another soft kiss on his forehead. Cas's light sapphire eyes meet Dean's gilded emerald ones and they share a quiet, understanding look of trust.

"Welcome home, Dean Winchester," Cas says, and Dean's heart bursts with light and joy, and his pulse flutters with a feeling of security and peace. _He's home._

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it. I really enjoyed writing it. If you feel moved, please feel free to leave a comment as I always love hearing from you guys. <3


End file.
